Wednesday, 8 August 2012


Crying, dribbling, nudity, bondage, torture, the murder of innocents and hipsterism - such is the cavalcade of human experience represented by my column illustrations for Edge magazine. If you buy the iPad edition of issue 243, you can peel off Link's modesty sticker, too. That's the future of interactive entertainment right there.

Monday, 11 June 2012


I'm here with Prometheus director Ridley Scott and writer Damon Lindelof. Thanks to you both for coming. So, first, I wanted just bring up a few things some of your fans are calling “plot holes”...

Ridley Scott: Plot holes? We try not to think of it like that. I mean, really, the film is just one big gasping hole in which tiny mote-like bits of plot swim about like diseased sperm. Of course, the real question is: which of those wriggling specks is a coherent plot point and which is bullshit to serve the exigency of our erratic script? That’s up to you to decide! I’d say we have a 1:9 split at the moment! [laughs]

Damon Lindelof: And then it’s really down to the viewer to try and fill the rest of that echoing narrative void with their imagination.

Ridley: And their tweets!

Damon: Oh yeah, definitely. So, really only 12% of the film actually happens on the big screen: the rest is on Twitter, or on [does air-quotes] internet chat-rooms, or in your kitchen. We want the film to provoke questions - questions that you the viewer then spend endless hours debating fruitlessly online with other people who are desperately projecting their own meaning onto the film as their tiny brains scrabble to gain purchase on our cinematic shitslide! [laughs]

Ridley: Questions like: why are all these characters cliche, implausible and behaving without any discernible logic?

Damon: Why can’t Ridley direct dialogue any more? [laughs]

Ridley: Why does everyone have such ludicrously mangled accents?

Damon: Why is Benjamin Button in the film?

Ridley: At what point did I transform from the director of The Duellists, Blade Runner and Alien, into some sort of cheap-seat blockbuster marketeer? [laughs]

Damon: What does the black goo do?

Ridley: Oh well now, that one does have an answer: it does whatever the next page of the script needs it to! [laughs] It’s basically our sonic screwdriver, or, as Hitchcock would have called it, “horseshit”. But mostly we’re not in the business of just giving out answers here - that would require us to have thought through some of this toss! [laughs]

Damon: Basically we’re looking at a future where we shatter narrative forms across as many possible media as possible - hopefully tricking the audience into thinking there is actually some interconnected web of mysteries rather than just a slurry of ill-formed brain-guff. Cha-ching! [laughs]

Ridley: Of course, if you just went to see it in the cinema hoping to witness some sort of cogent, self-contained fiction you’d be fucked! [laughs]

Damon: It’d be incomprehensible gash! [laughs]

Ridley: But fuck those guys! [gaffaws]

Damon: We have your money now! [weeping with laughter]

Ridley: We’re making sequels with it! [shrieking hysterically, Ridley’s chest erupts in a gout of blood. Michael Fassbender’s head emerges playing a piccolo. But why? What could it mean? Watch for next year’s viral video to find out!]

Monday, 28 May 2012


I worked on this game! It's a free game for kids, made by the lovely chaps at Big Robot and commissioned by Channel 4. I helped with the drawing. I suppose the game's about working together and taking responsibility for your environment and how everyone can be much happier if you endeavour not to set fire to carpet showrooms out of a wildly misplaced and poorly articulated sense of social injustice. Anyway, here's some of the stuff I did, in vague chronological order.

First up was the pitch. I wasn't a designer on the game but here I helped to translate the design notes into visually coherent mechanics.

Channel 4 liked the game but not the creatures in it. Cue much brainstorming.

I was particularly keen on these guys. An early idea I had was that the entire game might be 2D, or 3D with 2D cut-outs like a pop-up book.

For a time, we pursued these creepy baby things. Until...

After much back-and-forth, the concept was pared down to these blockheads.

Buildings and an extremely rough mock-up of what the game might look like. I based some of the concepts on the shop frontages seen in my home town of Orpington, which is, by coincidence, also where one of the more depressingly privileged rioters came from.

The skybox in three degrees of smogginess. I actually love skyboxes.

This game had a lot of icons, many describing similar-sounding actions and often with abstract effects. Luckily, the numbers were cropped way back in later iterations to avoid confusion.

These special buildings were intended to add a surreal edge to the otherwise English market-town vibe. When restored to their former glory they were meant to commute some sort of buff to the surrounding area.

An assortment of graffiti decals. Takes me back to the overpasses of my yoof.

A very educational experience, all in all. Thanks to Jim and co for letting me be a part of it!

Thursday, 1 March 2012


A year or two back, my super duper buddy Kim gave me a pretty little book for my birthday. About eight months later I gave it back as a present for her birthday, defaced with the nonsense you see below. Of course, I'd scanned it all in first, so in retrospect, I didn't really give her anything. And now I'm going to reproduce some of it here, devaluing a zero-sum birthday present ever further.